Dear, Roro
My dear friend.
I would like to apology to you, I had no idea you and him will forgive me or not but at least I have to apology because no matter how Allah will forgive me, it will never be forgiven if I do not apology to both of you,
I admit that this is all my fault, I cannot hide everything anymore that I still not able to moving on from him, it might be easy for him to forget our relationship but not for me. I am the one who decided to end our 4.5 years relationship because I do not want to force him to come to me, he has been working so hard to make his family happy, he was planning to come to marry me and take me to Canada but I refuse it because I know he will be working more harder, as in that time he was down and I cannot hear him sad anymore.
I love him and I want him to be happy even if it is not with me, 4.5 years is not a short time, we laugh together we cry together, there were too much stories to tell, he is not a bad guy, he never hurt me at all, I am the one who left him.
But honestly, I 'm still missing him sometimes, but I would never want to take him from you and I think that is impossible as I'm so far away and you are the one who close to him and always be right beside him all the time.
You know what, somehow we are not missing the person, we only miss the memories that still lingered on our brain, because no matter what, he was giving me lots of beautiful memories although we have never met face to face but I can feel his presence back then, he gave lots of supports he could so that I can live my life,
I know him since August 2016 in an online stranger chat platform called imeetzu, his username was 'hell boy', he introduced me to Shima and Nour, they are very sweet, I remember in 2017 before his birthday, he fought with Shimaa until he asked me to block her on facebook, I wont at first but he keep begging me because he feel annoyed by her then I blocked Shima, he was really happy because I did what he wanted. In 2018, we fought for more than a week because I prank him and he did not like it, he just wanted to be alone when he is mad, yeah it is not easy to forget everything.
I think I would never find anyone who loved me as much as he did, even until now, no one like him at all, after all, I never regret knowing him and you especially, I know you through him, he was asking me to help you because he said he cannott help you at that time, and I'm so happy knowing you Roro, I love you, you are a good friend to me, it was hurting me at first when I know you re engaged with the one I loved, but I'm happy because I believe that you will love him as much as I do, and indeed you are. If I were you, I also will not allow him to talk to other girls, as I always did when I'm still with him, and he likes that, he love the "weak" girl, I mean the girl who get jealous and need his help all the time,
In order to forget all the memories I had with him easily and fastly, I decided to forget everything related to him too which is you Roro, I dont want to do that actually because you are nice to me even you are not giving me any message to say goodbye or to get angry at me, I know you are really mad at me and I'm sorry, I'm happy that I can help you yesterdays, I hope you found other foreigner friend who could help you improving your speaking skill better than me, I'm gonna miss you Roro, and I'm gonna miss Nagwa too,
All of you will be the part of my beautiful memories. Take care and may Allah bless all of you.
-Avi-
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