It is been a quite some time and suddenly you came into my dream at night, I did not thinking about you at all before I sleep that time, you just suddenly came.
some people says when you dream of someone you loved before, it means that he misses you.
but for me, it is a sign to say goodbye to all the memories remained about us.
you did not say any words, you were just smiling at me the whole time and it feels so real that I can feel the happiness of meeting you after losing you.
days before, I was missing you so much that I could not hold it anymore. all I can do was just crying in pray, asking God to remove this painful feeling, but somehow I'm scared that I will fully forget you.I do not want to forget our memories together but I should. I was really missing you that I pray to God to at least let me meet the ghost of you to cure my pain of missing you.
in my dream that night, you were wearing a blueish tosca kind of t-shirt that has a long sleeve, your hair was so clean and a little bit wet, but you do not have any beards as you always do, and everytime I say something, you just answer it with a smile. I was inviting you to watch a Spiderman : No Way Home movie and you only say "up to you, as you like" while smiling at me. but suddenly I changed my mind and invited you to my favorite beach, you do not say any words. then we were waiting for a transportation for about 30 minutes but you still only looking at me with a smile on your face. when the transportation arrived, I suddenly wake up from my sleep. I wish I could go with you and spend my time with you before I wake up.
I was in mixed feeling after having that dream. I did not know what it means but surely every dreams has a meaning behind it. and it means a goodbye.
I remember in 2018, I also had a dream about you and that dream was really scaring me a lot.
we were standing in front of my house, you were looking at me with the sight of saying goodbye to me, you were almost crying but still smiling at me. my grandma said that she will let us married after you return from the war. yes. you were wanted to go to a war. I was almost crying when and looking at you, I do not want to lose you and I love you so much. but you say it is okay. then I saw you were gone. you were looking back to me for the last time and just disappear.
after having that dream, I was scared and crying that I would losing you. but we made it until february 2021 and I am the one who ended it and I'm sorry.
and after a year, I had a dream of you came to me with a smile. I'm sure you are so happy now, maybe even happier than when you are still with me. I cannot lie that after everything that I have been through, I'm still loving you.
you know what, we cannot stop loving someone, when we meet someone new, we could love them but maybe it becomes bigger that it will cover our previous love and soon forget everything. but you will always be the part of my beautiful memories.
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