Mido

 Dear, you

I miss you.
There are lots of things that I want to share with you, my memories that I couldn't share. There are lots of stories happened in my life since we re end. I'm just missing you so much, I still look for your news, when you re happy, i'm happy too, when you re sad, i'm sad too. It's like I can feel what you feel there. Maybe I wasnt able to forget you until now.
I still try to find you in anyone, but i still couldnt. You are always be you. And you always have a special place in my heart.

-a

a hint to say goodbye to you - Mido

It is been a quite some time and suddenly you came into my dream at night, I did not thinking about you at all before I sleep that time, you just suddenly came.

some people says when you dream of someone you loved before, it means that he misses you.

but for me, it is a sign to say goodbye to all the memories remained about us.

you did not say any words, you were just smiling at me the whole time and it feels so real that I can feel the happiness of meeting you after losing you.

days before, I was missing you so much that I could not hold it anymore. all I can do was just crying in pray, asking God to remove this painful feeling, but somehow I'm scared that I will fully forget you.I do not want to forget our memories together but I should. I was really missing you that I pray to God to at least let me meet the ghost of you to cure my pain of missing you.

in my dream that night, you were wearing a blueish tosca kind of t-shirt that has a long sleeve, your hair was so clean and a little bit wet, but you do not have any beards as you always do, and everytime I say something, you just answer it with a smile. I was inviting you to watch a Spiderman : No Way Home movie and you only say "up to you, as you like" while smiling at me. but suddenly I changed my mind and invited you to my favorite beach, you do not say any words. then we were waiting for a transportation for about 30 minutes but you still only looking at me with a smile on your face. when the transportation arrived, I suddenly wake up from my sleep. I wish I could go with you and spend my time with you before I wake up.

 I was in mixed feeling after having that dream. I did not know what it means but surely every dreams has a meaning behind it. and it means a goodbye.

I remember in 2018, I also had a dream about you and that dream was really scaring me a lot.

we were standing in front of my house, you were looking at me with the sight of saying goodbye to me, you were almost crying but still smiling at me. my grandma said that she will let us married after you return from the war. yes. you were wanted to go to a war. I was almost crying when and looking at you, I do not want to lose you and I love you so much. but you say it is okay. then I saw you were gone. you were looking back to me for the last time and just disappear. 

after having that dream, I was scared and crying that I would losing you. but we made it until february 2021 and I am the one who ended it and I'm sorry.

and after a year, I had a dream of you came to me with a smile. I'm sure you are so happy now, maybe even happier than when you are still with me. I cannot lie that after everything that I have been through, I'm still loving you.

you know what, we cannot stop loving someone, when we meet someone new, we could love them but maybe it becomes bigger that it will cover our previous love and soon forget everything. but you will always be the part of my beautiful memories.

 
 

a letter to the girl that the one I loved before has loved now, Reham.

Dear, Roro

My dear friend.

    I would like to apology to you, I had no idea you and him will forgive me or not but at least I have to apology because no matter how Allah will forgive me, it will never be forgiven if I do not apology to both of you, 

    I admit that this is all my fault, I cannot hide everything anymore that I still not able to moving on from him, it might be easy for him to forget our relationship but not for me. I am the one who decided to end our 4.5 years relationship because I do not want to force him to come to me, he has been working so hard to make his family happy, he was planning to come to marry me and take me to Canada but I refuse it because I know he will be working more harder, as in that time he was down and I cannot hear him sad anymore.

    I love him and I want him to be happy even if it is not with me, 4.5 years is not a short time, we laugh together we cry together, there were too much stories to tell, he is not a bad guy, he never hurt me at all, I am the one who left him. 

    But honestly, I 'm still missing him sometimes, but I would never want to take him from you and I think that is impossible as I'm so far away and you are the one who close to him and always be right beside him all the time. 

    You know what, somehow we are not missing the person, we only miss the memories that still lingered on our brain, because no matter what, he was giving me lots of beautiful memories although we have never met face to face but I can feel his presence back then, he gave lots of supports he could so that I can live my life, 

    I know him since August 2016 in an online stranger chat platform called imeetzu, his username was 'hell boy', he introduced me to Shima and Nour, they are very sweet, I remember in 2017 before his birthday, he fought with Shimaa until he asked me to block her on facebook, I wont at first but he keep begging me because he feel annoyed by her then I blocked Shima, he was really happy because I did what he wanted. In 2018, we fought for more than a week because I prank him and he did not like it, he just wanted to be alone when he is mad, yeah it is not easy to forget everything.

    I think I would never find anyone who loved me as much as he did, even until now, no one like him at all, after all, I never regret knowing him and you especially, I know you through him, he was asking me to help you because he said he cannott help you at that time, and I'm so happy knowing you Roro, I love you, you are a good friend to me, it was hurting me at first when I know you re engaged with the one I loved, but I'm happy because I believe that you will love him as much as I do, and indeed you are. If I were you, I also will not allow him to talk to other girls, as I always did when I'm still with him, and he likes that, he love the "weak" girl, I mean the girl who get jealous and need his help all the time, 

    In order to forget all the memories I had with him easily and fastly, I decided to forget everything related to him too which is you Roro, I dont want to do that actually because you are nice to me even you are not giving me any message to say goodbye or to get angry at me, I know you are really mad at me and I'm sorry, I'm happy that I can help you yesterdays, I hope you found other foreigner friend who could help you improving your speaking skill better than me, I'm gonna miss you Roro, and I'm gonna miss Nagwa too,

    All of you will be the part of my beautiful memories. Take care and may Allah bless all of you.

-Avi-

Grammar Error

 In 2016, I joined a socipreneurship program in Tihulale Village with 16 colleague from Colombia and 2 representative program from AIESEC organization, the program was conducted under the foundation of Citra Kasih Abadi Foundation. I joined the program with 8 other university friends, the program was a volunteer which means we had to use our own money for the accomodation except for the homestays, we were living in the villagers' house. The 16 collegues from Colombia also stayed in the villagers homestay.

At the last week of my staying in the village, I went to one of our Colombian collegues' homestay named Sergio. We were planning to go to Tane waterfall not far from the village and the meeting point was in Sergio's homestay. I came to his room with my 2 other friends named Ayuni and Danny, we were sitting in one of Sergio's bed, because there were 2 beds, I asked Sergio if he had a roommate.

"You sleep with who?" I asked.
"Oh, I sleep alone here" He answered
My friend Ayuni was laughing hearing my conversation with Sergio, I was confused, "what's the matter?" I asked.
"Don't you realized what have you just saying?" She said.
"What did I just said?" I was still confused
"You asked Sergio with 'you sleep with who' well it should be 'who are sleeping with you?'" She said while still laughing.

I looked at Sergio and we laughed.
"I just realized that, and you didn't recognize it too" I said to Sergio and we keep laughing.
"You know what, as long as there's no misunderstanding between us, we re good" said Sergio.
"Yeah you right"

Interpreting the Interpreter

 Back in 2016, I joined a sociopreneurship program held by the AIESEC organization in coorporation with Citra Kasih Abadi Foundation and APC Colombia, there were 16 Colombians who joined the program, because there is no AIESEC organization in Ambon, the representative of AIESEC Indonesia then recruited volunteers from Ambon to help running the program in Tihulale village.

After awhile, the program was running smoothly and one of the agenda was to do the research about the villagers' activities to earn money for themselves. There were some groups of us that has been devided, I joined the group with Joanna and Sergio who would see the process of making a bamboo carpet in one of the villagers's house.

Arriving in the villager's house, the villager explained how to make the bamboo carpet to us in Indonesian language, my duty was interpreting what the villager said to Joanna and Sergio. After I explained it to them in English, Sergio then explained the process to Joanna in Spanish. Joanna then ask some questions in Spanish to Sergio and Sergio explained Joanna's questions to me in English, after that I explained Joanna's questions in Indonesian language to the villager. The villager answered Joanna's questions in Indonesian language to me and I explained the villager's answered to Sergio in English, then Sergio explained the villager's answered to Joanna in Spanish.

Joanna then said to me and Sergio "isn't it funny where Avi interprets what villager has said to Sergio in English and Sergio explained what Avi said to me in Spanish?"
We looked to each other and laughed "yeah you right" I said
"Oh sorry guys I'm not really good in English" said Joanna
"It doesn't matter Joanna, we have to help each other in this project, right" I said
Then we laughed together.