"When he feels he is not good enough for me, that is when I fall for him even more."
his name is Aldo, my schoolmate in junior high school. we didn't meet very often back then but I know he is exist. I don't remember many things when we re in junior high school, I only remember him as Aldo is a billingual class student and he is smart.
few years later, we still friends on facebook. I've seen how he really enjoy his life, his routine, his liberal thought, his girlfriend. he was really open about everything on his facebook account, he was really put an effort in appreciating his life whatever how small it is. I can see how he was so proud of being himself and appreciating things and people around him. "This guy is cool" that's what I thought but I didn't take it too personally, I like him tho, not as a lover but more like admiring how he enjoys his life.
months after that, I realized that I didn't see him in any posts anymore, where is he? I didn't really care back then, I thought he must be busy doing something or he just want to enjoy his life privately? I had no idea and just enjoying my life.
I remember that night I went to Indomaret wearing blach khimar, he was standing in front of a house beside indomaret with his friend and he called me "Avi, hi" I was "ohh hi Aldo, how are you and what are you doing?" I didn't really care at him and just off to indomaret.
few months later, we met again and I was going to indomaret too, he stopped me in front his friend's house, greet me and asked for my number, well I had his number before but I forgot how but long story short, we have each other's number again. I started to watch his whatsapp stories, still about his girlfriend and how he praise her a lot, "this man is so loving" I tought, coz the guys I met before never post and praise me at all, so I think this kind of man like Aldo who loves to praise his woman is rare. even he put his girlfriend's name on his bio, yeah I checked that too heheh.
months later,, or maybe 3 years I guess? I see him soooo different than he was before, he never flexing anymore, he still do his routine and I always enjoy his workout whatsapp stories actually, well I know I like seeing men doing their workout and he is the only one who commit in doing that since a long time, and I love this type of man who loves being healthy.
I can see him change a lot into a good person day by day and watching his whatsapp's stories has been part of my routine coz it is just so interesting to watch, I love his thoughts, it's more mature and more "me" and so relatable. I started to reply to his stories and have some conversation with him. he's cool and so friendly. thats when I started to imagine how my life would be if he is my husband, that must be so cool to have a husband like him, he is smart, he is loyal, he is loving, he is healthy, he is amazing for sure. and I also started to find out how can I be with him as I didn't see any potential on the man that I dated at that time, so I was focusing on finished my previous relationship first and I wait for like 2 months before I try to get close to him.
during that 2 months waiting, I was still watching his stories and asked my friend who works in the same place with him on how does he like (personality) but of course I didn't make it obvious. then I cant hold my self anymore, I started to praise him a lot and I mean it. we started to talk since then, replying each other's stories, but I don't want to be in a rush in confessing how I feel towards him.
about like a month later, after I pray tahajjud and we suddenly talk to each other, talking about how he got rejected and me wanted to find a good man to lean on. and it just came out of my mouth to asked him to get to know each other and forget the woman he liked who doesn't want him. and surprisingly he said okay. I was confuse but happy at the same time, I didn't know how to respond the next day, I know I am the one who started this but I feel so dumb, I must be crazy but it is how it is.
we started to appreciating and supporting each other but I havent confess yet, I thought he would reject me. but surprisingly he is not. I remember that night, it was march 3rd, we confess to each other and tell how we feel towards each other, thats the first time I told him that I fall in love with him, I was really afraid of rejection but he told me that I'm his crush and I always have special place in his heart since we were grade 7 in junior high school. I was speechless at first, I thought I'm the one who fell first, but it turns out that he fell first and I fell harder.
-to be continued--
